Volume 13, Issue 3 Fall 2010
Jeff Dutko
RETAINING WALL
Not all that grows out of these woods is alive Iron willed rock walls cross pollinate in New England Collections of raised awareness, reticulated under pines, oak and laurel Cultivations bloom in the river valleys of Connecticut Stone phalanxes of ungovernable distance All built without deference to the enormity of the task By men who keep time by seasons and can afford to endure the monotonous ever of bending and placing
The luxury of predisposition not diminishing the importance of the wall In the bending and the lifting is built a bulwark against the inherited scare of primogeniture Stones bifurcating the breath of the family farm antithetical to King Solomon’s belief in the severing of scions In this new England, we divide to cordon off the threat of patriarchy
But this wall that stands its ground in front of me is too tightly cornered, to exactly constructed to be borne of familiarity, it does not unveil the story of two men tossing together stones from either side of a division that separates one farm among equals No, these rocks advance to the furthest edge of arable field in longing Then stop as if tethered to the land In them is a struggle, struggle to fit, struggle to reach leaning stones, up and over, in and on Protecting tobacco fields, as fine as any in Durham Hands in servitude, bound to build Leaning stones, on and on
EDITORIAL NOTATION
Two ducks, I suspect but rather imagine, male and female
hide the strenuousness of their paddling
with a dark blanket of lake water Which, on this icy morning, exhales
a balm of moisture over the opening of the day
The green, black and brown birds each leave a rippling v in their wake
Two notation marks, carets from their transcendental editor
perpetually inserting the pair into the precise position
to enhance a fluid landscape as they move forward together
TEACHERS EAT APPLES WHILE WALKING IN THE HALLWAY
We walk like secrets unnecessary to reveal in any privacy We consume the fires too dangerous to leave unchecked Then we let the flames dance us like lanterns left lit past dawn illuminating from within our star speckled darkness
We pause as if the wind discontinued its breathing on the now motionless fields Or, as if, we stand in the still of rhododendron petals after the fluttering honey bee has escaped Regathering ourselves like lovers and their clothes afterwards covering, yet uncovered
We confuse apples for conversation The smile in your bite tells me nothing is okay anymore Your scratched laugh gurgled with sweet juices keeps me moving Your nod, pillowed in the thoughts of only the next bite keeps me coming back to this hallway
M.A Schaffner
THAT WHICH 'TIS OF THEE
The America I thought I wanted lopes like a startled deer into the shade of the weed trees along the yellow creek that winds behind a warehouse that has known greater popularity. In the day, no one knew it was the day, just another in a series of quiet competencies. To be fat and under-regarded seemed not entirely the basic condition of a vaguely confused citizenry.
The deer escapes, traffic resumes, someone has called in a report on their cell phone without first pulling aside. In the end, nothing has occurred. The concrete storm drains will remain only as an odd comment on false relations with topography, one more place for goods to accumulate, where the browse is good, the shade refreshing.
AFTERLIFE
In a few years even boredom will seem deserving of gratitude. It’s not age or systems crashes that polish us off, but disengagement; not any disease, but how native grasses bend to the ground after the rain beats them. Everyone writes; only a lucky few know how to spell their team mates when the assignment changes.
I’m not so many things I’ve lost track of what my bar code actually displays. So what? the thunder asks, adding lightning so the wind can see how honest we are. It shouldn’t help, only within that light entire lives unwind their breves and quavers.
OCTOBER
A look one associates with foreigners, at lunch a bottle of sherry for tonight – I had no plan for the morning’s meeting except to escape without a new task. I failed. A season ends. The fiscal year creeps in without confetti or champagne. Smells that would be rancid now seem homey: above all, that of wood smoke. I forgot what details made past winters lovely or lean. No one else can tell you either. The birds are gone, going, or wired in position; salamanders will not be seen again till Spring or Judgment Day. People fatten all the more when they can find a reason.
Richard Luftig
ZEIGARNIK EFFECT
“The process of paying attention to a known task until it is finished and then by forgetting the first task, becoming psychologically enabled to move on to the next.”
The trick is to stay focused on the loss, death or its absence which might not have been
bad except for the leaving. Stay centered on that-- the one singular sadness. You must resist temptation
to interrupt your grief or it will never get used up. Remember that remembering is nothing
more than a roadmap yielding alternative routes back to the start. Make yourself take your pulse at least twice
each moment, checking for all vital signs of memory and disconnected heartbeats. Count out time,
useless time, restless time, divided neatly into folders, each tagged chronologically by their own separate loss.
MEANDERS “Looping curves of a river occurring for no apparent reason”
Centrifugal force throws water to the outside of the curve, inside –to- out until the inner bank is cut off, taking on superfluous life like the threadbare towns disappearing behind the curves.
Ripley and Gallopolis, Portsmouth, Kenville, Pond Run, the towns seem to loop on one another their bleached riverwalls pockmocked with graffiti, and facing the slumping backs
of vacant stores and concave row houses. The banks flood and recede, the final resting place for tires, skins smooth as a baby’s bottom, and scrap wood scattered like pick-up-sticks.
Each meander roots up willows and the young, each layer of mud choking off what’s left of the dreams of the old, curve- weary townsfolk, abandoned and left behind.
Adam Burrell
CALIFORNIA FIRES
To air reciprocal, smoke prepares a fallout. Inside my chest, its ash is laying forests down. Mountain folded homes crumple to the flame, this obfuscated boundary.
Impasse cracked, the landscape inhales epiphany by brackish drafts from valley springs, while my pupils reflect the gravid lighting flash; while I swallow a petri dish of culture and ash.
SIDESTEP
In the half-light of my living-room, I jockey past my father, saying goodnight to his darker countenance, whose courtesy and restraint doubles mine, at least. I try to think of the last time we touched not by accident.
This occurs to me every night. Now, I’m confederate to the choreographed show of nods and almost- uttered phrases that pass between one (and another shadow is made by evening’s coming on) and his son.
The darkness melts, carefully, into the lonely recesses of our large home. Austere, finally unstressed, my father caresses each neglected corner of carpet, dancing with a vacuum cleaner. He will work at it until all else is quiet.
Bob Nimmo
HOSPICE DEPARTURE
Stretched skin across bone, each epidermis leaf pealing revealing layers of old times.
Neatly vased a foreign flower in chlorophyll.
Gone pulse from wrist, beat from heart, nothing to betray a beam within that breast.
Left a memory of rooms But lo! The lotus blooms.
THE VOICES OF GRAVEL FELL
Can't you hear them calling where the wind greets kiss of morn subtle underneath the natural tone of casual conversation wafting through the stark and trembling fingers pointing heavenwards touched with trepidation.
Whistling over moorland wreathed in purple hangings dancing with the stippled pebbling water fanning from the surface of a thousand wind-skirled lakes keening in the colours spreading westwards caught within dimensions of a long forgotten time when man had need to tell of love and crime.
They sashay off the sea in a petticoated pirouette and echo down the dunes like the kine ‘cross sands of Dee.
Gasping through the fat-boughed oaks and tinkling through the thin a message of the distant and the timeless dispossessed a weary whisper sweeping hills as old as hills themselves alluding to the manic and the sadly unconfessed.
They're there. I know. I've heard them as they gather with the storm and then descend like banchees in a coven lost, forlorn. Folks say they come to harry; I think they come to warn Travelling from a realm that time forgot; I think they’ve come to warn But no one knows from what.
Karl Miller
APPREHENSION
The wind stirs shadows: a new day launches with rain waiting to be seen.
Restoration
Strengthening sunlight: bare wintered tree ice sparkles, coaxing the hard pond
Adria Abbott Glass
RETIREMENT
Opal sat on her coffee table the one for the books on Rome and outer space, surrounded by her things, all the things she and Raymond netted throughout their lives.
Someone upstairs buzzed in a big man, muscled, polite as he passed her. The yellow hallway looked gray. He reminded her of Bull, long ago frat guy from college, drinking beer and crushing cans.
Dust feathered her nose, she looked for a tissue, found only her glasses, a five dollar bill looped around the nose piece. Raymond never kept that appointment with the eye doctor.
The officer told her he hit a tree, the dying was swift. Was he supposed to wear corrective lenses? She closed her eyes remembering Ray’s voice refusing to believe he was old.
She needed a Bull to move the coffee table, the bed she would keep her tea pot and the books on outer space, throw away the collections notices forget about her address in favor of the sidewalk by the river.
BULLETS
On the honey-colored shelf above the desk and framed playoff tickets, beside the basket from Acapulco, the instrument panel clock, sits a small cherrywood shadowbox with eight leaden cones big enough to tear a hole in the world.
Civil War bullets, “lead Minies” so slow they nestled in tissue and bone. People found jobs in the making of gadgets to pull them from bodies of boys become men, cut down in the orchards of Gettsyburg.
Eighty tons of opium prescribed during the war, far too little to kill the pain. Those not suffering rode home in repose, injected with creosote, wooden beds lined with zinc, alcohol tinctures, anticeptic attempts to wipe it down clean from a mother’s memories.
They stare out the window, these little cannon-ball demons that had no ideas of their own. Perfect conductors when fused with fear with hate with views so narrow only tears fit in the space.
Geordie de Boer
THE PASSING OF CIRCUSES
Eisenhower came through Eugene, gave a stump speech from the platform of his bunting-draped railway coach. Elephants rubbed up against asses in the crowd. No one was cowed - events like these were not to be passed by. In those days, the circus, too, arrived by rail and debouched at the depot on Fifth Street. Elephants, carnies, clowns making asses of themselves, trouped down Willamette to the fair- grounds on – Thirteenth Street? Though the fair-grounds are in the same place, my memory is not. Time passes as all things pass - events, people, species… My sense of belonging passed down time’s rails, too, gone the way of free- ranging elephants and asses who couldn’t tell theirs from a bump in the crowd.
Karen Kelsay
SARA ORANGE TIP
You could have folded naturally like a paper triangle, and slipped into death’s pocket-- if you weren’t so beautiful.
June’s mustard fields and streams still watch for you. Verbena’s purple bloom has missed your touch. Who captured you in mid-flight
and pinned you to this board, forcing you to fly throughout the ages with your elegance exposed? first published by Flutter Poetry Journal
Sharon Rothenfluch Cooper
EVER CHANGING
We love our long expanses of unspoiled beach and enjoy the sculpted coast but the ocean eats away the shoreline with a frothy mouth tasting the sand with brine one wave at a time.
In an explosion of foam seawater slurries then fades leaving the perfect sand diminished in a rush of power.
Vincenzo Bilof
WOMAN OF BABYLON
Thighs worth a thousand whispers Old-trauma eyes clouded forever Where a promise can hang its head For a dollar or two, the bones buried In the ancient playground now dust, A field so blank it glares, the Stale smell of ritual
Dirty sheets in hotel rooms. You thought you were never too young to die How many times have we poured sugar on you? "...as the saying goeth, like a hero wondering aloud about destiny..."
Epitaph my epitaph, say hello Before graduation day, the empty seat already Depicted on the final stage The ceremonial straightening-of-the-shoulders And a wink Without a promise
Richard Dinges
FIRST SNOWS
First snows make good neighbors, where wooden fences rot. Those men march behind compact car sized blowers, belching white clouds and gasoline fumes, baring concrete sidewalks proudly for neighbors on each side. I stand by my drift with my wood handled shovel, smile and wave, my lower back giving thanks, knowing that second snows elicit fewer volunteers, when even powered blowers become a chore. In midwinter neighbors obey boundaries, marked by neat lines of piled snow like low fences where power blowers stop and my ragged scrapes through pure white snow begin.
VANISHING POINT
Cars merge into herds galloping across open plains on Interstate 80 in constant migration. Fumes rise into thunderheads and spark plugs ignite lightening. Rain falls into rivers of oil to the steady thump of pistons, the eternal roar of internal combustion. Highways measure time on gasoline gauges, slowly dropping toward empty when everyone’s eyes stay on the road ahead where all lanes meet on a distant horizon and vanish.
James B. Nicola
THE SHADE TREE
I've reached this height only since I tapped those depths. O they seem so remote. But I am I as much at my base where no one can see the organic process of tapping from wells and springs and soil soaking in dirty nutriments and tears from the lode of oxidized rots made earth. You only catch the celebration above where I have been transformed by the light and other inscrutable processes into shimmery greens dyed poignant before their fall.
I stand here tall and wide and strong for a nap of darker calm to be a source of coolness from your summer scorchings. My trunk’s your pillow. My bark, planed smooth as a satin case, is firm enough to support anyone’s head and dangerous dreams.
Bugs forecast of late have inspired a recount of my rings. Days numbered, my growth at just about maximum, all that's left is littering with leaves for others to rake, and spinning out curled shavings as sheathes of bark fall off, like the papers of a poet, fearing only a direct bolt of lightning, or the mightiest of windstorms.
FOUND THE ONE
He found the one door in the city that had not yet melted and been welded shut. And just in time. It was about to rain again and he had seen the acid rain begin to dissolve through asphalt and concrete, and sought a place with a pitched roof, where it would be diverted, or else have to eat through a couple of tons of granite first, before it got inside to where he was.
The thunder grumbled. At least he believed that it was thunder, but could not see through the stained glass windows well enough to tell if the flashes were lightning or more explosions. Besides it was day, so flashes weren’t bright. Then, no sound but the tremolo of silence— And the clackle of his shoes on the flagstones. He took off his shoes. He forgot—was he supposed to cover his head, or the opposite? At least he could be quieter with his feet. If anyone were there he would explain. No one was there. He didn’t have to care.
At last his legs gave way. He fell to his knees on a slab to the side with writing carved on it he couldn’t read, his face still moist and hot, his eyes wet, probably bloodshot. He must look like hell, if someone were there. No one was there.
He started dreaming—then dreamt not of pasts, they were too horrible, but only futures, violating all the laws of Freud and Jung, recapturing the myths, the Testament when Joseph told of ways that dreams foretold. . . .
It starts with flies. The aftermath is marked by so much rotting that the flies and bugs are supposed to have a heyday. So it was written about the last time. Then eventually the birds and frogs will eat the bugs, and so on, life chain restored. If there were time— which there was, but no fly. Not even an ant.
The sanctuary candle, thick as a thigh, was lit, though. He thought it was, that is. But was he only dreaming of a glimmer? No— He heard the torrents hit the buttresses; saw through a sun-rayed dove in a modern glass design and felt the steady pounding on the roof make the stone he lay on vibrate. Tremble. No leaks. No dissolution! He got up and found a green robe in the vestry and a cushy bench there, swaddled the cloth around him like a blanket or a shawl and really slept this time, God knows how long, waking to
the creak of a hinge, a distant door: it squeaked then slammed with a final, or prophesying, echo though he never heard it open. Had someone just come in, or gone out? He slapped his face and yelled, Hello? Nothing. Hellooo? He bolted through all the chapels and the cellars, up to the towers, yelling, hoping. When the rain stops he will venture out-of-doors, he thinks.
Right now he’s perching on a throne by the choir to the side of the altar to catch his breath. The candle is not lit now!—but was it lit before? The rain’s matured and muted to continual applause. It’s almost polite. If only we had learned from the rain! he thinks. It’s never-ending. Then it stops. He notices, catches his breath, stops wheezing at last, and in the silence thinks he hears a far-off buzz. A bulldozer. A fly.
Howard Stein
ASTRONOMY LESSON
It is only a question Of who will die last. There is no escape From a burning sun. Even Mars will end up In the hot belly Of a red giant, Or incinerated By a supernova. The next star we visit Is no more immortal Than our own sun.
Last night I saw The rays of a setting sun Touch the topmost leaves Of a post oak before disappearing Until the first hint of morning. Night does not arrive All at once, but in daily Doses of a turning planet. Recurrent night is our Rehearsal for immortality As interstellar dust.
Nancy Scott
WHEN THE SUN BREAKS I am the whisper behind you in the check-out line at the mall. I am the riffle of pages in Michael Crichton’s last novel. Sometimes I’m the crush in the aisle on the 8:15 to New York, flash of blonde hair past the window when your Saturn decides to stall, or sultry air rushing to fill space left by a familiar smell. I’m not the cause of night fevers, but rather the shape of your dream. I’ll wait for you when the sun breaks over Our Lady of Sorrows. Don’t wait on the steps. Come in. I’ve prepared for your arrival – almond torte stippled with honey, Zinfandel fruity and rich. The kids are all at camp and Gramps is playing bingo. First published in Kelsey Review, 2003
Benjamin Evans
SEVENTEEN YEARS WITH HER
In the morning she kisses me just after consciousness then proceeds to chisel my structures. The buildings I’ve worked so hard against her gravity to create: my quaint two bedroom contentment, my guesthouse of confidence.
She is an incendiary ventriloquist with her hand up my back, scratching away decorum in every word she speaks through me.
She takes the wheel, and drives me around the neighborhood nine times to make absolutely certain I didn’t hit the child I saw on the tricycle two days ago, all the while asking me if I am attracted to my mother or if I washed my hands.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
You are my crooked muse, but why must I break to sing.
Robert Demaree
THE AORIST TENSE
We grieve in vain For memory’s wandering off, That favorite corduroy jacket of the mind, Worn, thread-bare, elbows patched. A young man learned three different times Then lost The aorist tense in Greek And how to extract the meat From soft-shelled crabs, Wielding with a surgeon’s skill Tiny tweezers and scalpels, Sugar, vinegar at the ready. These days, when there is need, He slips inconspicuously Into the computer chair And lets Google help recall Who played first base For the Philadelphia A’s In the summer of ’48. It’s been a while since he’s had need Of the Greek aorist And many years and miles From Shibe Park Or the shores of the Chesapeake Bay : That friend who had the cottage there— Gone now, of course; What was his name?
previously appeared in Still Crazy, July 2009
Lee Marc Stein
CHIAROSCURO
Four centuries after Caravaggio’s death, experts assert he was blacked out by sunstroke. (Syphilitic death’s pedestrian, walking away with Lenin, Gauguin, Smetana, and Manet.) Yin yang: the man who lived in shadow and transplanted it with paint burned out bright.
We are his Thomas, mind clouded, finger probing the chasm in the Lord’s side, our brows wrinkled, unified in our quest for truth, unable to fathom the kingdom of light and dark that ruled his art.
We are the prisoners eying John on the ground, watching rays foreplay the tragedy of his martyrdom. We are calm Salomé, ready to collect saint head and Caravaggio’s synoptic glints of sun. We are the old maid holding our heads in disbelief that a painting could depict perfidy so perfectly.
Caravaggio: “The Incredulity of St. Thomas ” and “The Beheading of St. John the Baptist.”
Karen Douglass
PROFESSOR HAMMER'S VIDEO COURSE
Click, the man in the box speaks; click, he’s caught in a freeze frame. Time and geography are pleated, fan folded so Yale’s in Colorado.
The camera sticks its steady eye to the lectern, lavaliere filters out the cough and rustle of invisible disciples. Professor Hammer’s hair
grows every hour. He changes his shirt. I never see his knees. He waves his glasses like a baton, directs attention to a slide show beyond my line of sight.
Mixing his salt in my stew, we remain strange, though once, while explaining Dr. William’s wheelbarrow, he seemed like a man with an appetite, a lover,
and legs to walk him out of the picture, because, as Miss Moore would know, he has grown too large for the time warp, is a real man in a virtual garden.
John McKernan
ULTRAVIOLET RADIATION
Q Are you sure you are not dead?
A I disobeyed my mother again just yesterday
Q How many fingers do you see?
A It depends on what cloud I am staring at
Q Your name? Can you remember your name?
A Yes But I prefer some of the words it rhymes with On One Won and the words it will never rhyme with No & Now
Q Not to harp on this Sir but will you know you are dead when you are dead?
A Violin on it Trumpet it Drum away my friend I don't think that Lazarus ever had a thought when he was alive or when he was dead or when he was neither
Q Has the word BE ever suggested the word BEE to you?
A Some mornings Especially dripping ones & ones with lots of green colors on those sticks you call trees Yes Even a mirror will do it
Q Do what?
A Make one want to be & bee & B sharp
Theresa Williams
MAYFLY
sun on its wings a brief glittering
Mayflies: The beautiful other. Who wouldn’t want to mate with them: they have paired genitalia! Their insides are filled with air. Some float to the ground while mating. Others keep flying.
the first to mature
scatter across the river
for the birds to eat
***
ROGUE WAVE
Your life is going as planned, your sea calm. You and your beloved take your ordinary lunch with a glass of red wine which you notice is a little bitter, tastes too much of oak.
those birds
in the distance nothing but gulls
***
DEATH METAPHOR
(Dreams 1)
Behold the Minotaur, sitting on his mother's knee in the ancient painting, his little animal face turned toward her breast. He looks as sweet as the baby Jesus wearing the mask He made in kindergarten. He's old now, has a computer, contributes to his profile on Wikipedia, careful not to get blood on the keys. Mythology is just a tiny forage is virtual now, not alive in the marrow of women and men. This makes him sad, but don't feel sorry. His appetite is unappeased.
a floor strewn with femora bones too big to chew.
Harry Calhoun
The bill for the flowers
Dad: months after your funeral the undertaker wrote to tell me there had been an oversight and the expenses for your flowers
had not been wrapped in with the other burial costs. Then the greenhouse called to remind me. The greenhouse owned by my 4th-grade teacher
Mrs. Grasso, 96 and still alive and in excellent health. Some things take their time dying, unlike you, dad. So I paid the bill, grudgingly, months later,
putting it behind me. Where it lurks, with so much other junk, in a crowded attic, surrounded by something mercurial that occasionally smiles and cries unexamined.
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